Portending: Good, Bad & Ugly

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Everyone at some point must have come across pretending. What’s pretending?? Pretending is behaving to be who we want people to think we are. While pretending, we hide our original personality and stage the artificial person in front of people to please or impress them. Below are the facts on pretending which can help you know more about the dos and don’ts of pretending.

Actions speak 

Actions express somebody’s personality. Yes, it’s true and words often show who the person pretends to be. Don’t believe in somebody’s words, try to analyze and see through their actions because actions and conduct tell the truth which words don’t. Therefore, if you want to find out if someone is pretending read their actions closely and carefully that will show if the person is for real or reel.

Pretending can be Good. It can be Bad. But it can also be Ugly. Let’s examine some situations to know about it.

Good

Pretending isn’t all about negativity

Pretending doesn’t always possess negativity it also owns certain positive aspects. For example, pretending to be happy when you’re in pain is just an example of how strong you’re as a person. There’s also a moral from this example. Never show your pain because not many people will share your pain, instead they will celebrate for your pain.

Smile instead of sympathizing

Sometimes the best solution is to smile and move on with your day. That sympathizing feeling on your face isn’t going to help you. Hold back your tears and pretend that everything is well and good because others will feel happy seeing you smiling and cheerful and there may be opposite reactions to be ready for it.

Bad

Accept your mistakes

One of the biggest flaws committed by many is pretending to be blind to their own mistakes. Never ignore your mistakes at the same time never try to overlook your mistakes too. Stop pretending like you’re an angel everybody commit mistakes and therefore never underestimate your capabilities just because you have committed a mistake. On the other side don’t pretend to be deaf towards others mistakes because that will lead you into greater losses.

Don’t lose your real personality

Be careful who you pretend to be because in the process of pretending you might lose your own identity. It’s never ever good to forget who you are and isn’t appreciable too. Always recollect where you are, what you are because only these things will boost your self-awareness which would take you places. If you pretend to be somebody else and not yourself, finally it’s going to take you nowhere.

Don’t accept things as they appear

Many people pretend to like you. At times even you might have joined the crowd for a good cause or for a bad cause. As people pretend to like you, all of a sudden you will start pouring out all your joy and care for those people who aren’t worthy of. Actually, doing so shows your foolishness because such kind of people doesn’t deserve your care and concern.

Ugly

Here are some situations when pretending turns ugly. There could be many more.

  1. A vehicle has hit someone who is bleeding on the good, you pan by pretending you have not
  2. A woman is being beaten by a man, you see if and pretend you haven’t and more on.
  3. A friend who is serious needs financial help from you, but you pretend you do not have money.

Some suggestions

  •       Express your originality : Stop pretending for a while and express how you really feel towards someone. It can be a positive or a negative feeling but express it with utmost honesty. However, after the revelation observe how the relationship continues to sail.
  •       Avoid pretending unless when ‘Good’ : Live without pretending, love without depending, listen without defending, and speak without offending. There’s lots of wisdom in this quote. Live your own life with joy, don’t pretend or fake yourself to impress others. Love without any expectation, listen with peace, understand and then analyze. Use your tongue with caution because that’s the most dangerous weapon in the world that can pierce and hurt a person more than a bullet. Hence, stop offending others with your words.
  •        Live your life : Finally, live yourself and set your own identity. Yes, you need that skill to find out people who are pretending to be your beloveds but getting them erased of your life wouldn’t make a greater difference. Instead invest your time in finding the real people who understand and are really impressed with your originality.       Pretending isn’t an issue when not practiced always!!
  •        Never carry forward situations : Life is a handful of short stories pretending to be a novel. Yes, all situations are detached. When the situation takes place the matter comes to an end, it isn’t supposed to be carried forward and never get stuck to the situation. If it had left a lesson behind take the lesson and move forward.

Thanks for reading. Your comments will be highly appreciated.

Courage to Continue Denotes Success

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The word success as defined in the dictionary means “ the accomplishment of an aim or purpose” . True as it is but definition of the word success changes from person to person. Every individual’s definition of success is different. And why Not? We all have different aims, objectives, goals and purpose of life. And accomplishment of those would mean SUCCESS

to each one of us. Though there is no common definition of success many successful people have presented their views on success. Let us now understand what success meant to them and how best we can add to our success from their experiences.

A writer, statesman and a leader as he was Winston Churchill who has contributed immensely to the Britain’s victory in World War II has quoted that

“Success is not final, Failure is not fatal; It is the courage to continue that counts”. Isn’t it true? Many people think that if you fail at something , it is the end of your life. The suicidal stories you hear after the academic results are declared clearly indicate people’s

attitude towards failure. The quote mentioned above re instills the value of courage to continue the effort in spite of several failures. In short, perseverance is one of the keys to success.

When one wants to achieve something one should turn deaf ears to what people say about your endeavors. Because as the quote goes,” At first they will ask why you are doing it ;But later they will ask How did you do it?

Yes, this is especially important for the people who are torch bearers. Torch bearers are people who attempt to tread the less taken path and are the first ones to do so. When you are pursuing something different and novel, skeptic people always try to ask the validity of such pursuit. Well, if you are convinced about your effort and are ready to give in your hundred percent you will be successful at it. And then the same people would ask you the ways in which you tried to achieve such an untapped feat.

Life is a mix of good and bad times. We are successful sometimes and sometimes we do fail. The most important thing in life is to “Be thankful for hard times as they have made you.” Hard times are testing times. Failures should be visualized as a lesson. I t is rightly said,” When the going gets tough, the tough gets going”! Every struggle to get successful will make you wiser and stronger.

While achieving success it is important that you put your heart , mind and soul into excelling at what you have undertaken. If needed you have to sacrifice a lot in order to achieve something great. Swami Sivananda has rightly pinpointed the secret of success. He

quotes ,” Put your heart , soul and mind into even your smallest acts”. It is also very evident that there is no shortcut to success. It is well known that there is “No elevator to success. You have to take the stairs.” Hard work in proper direction definitely yields success. ease everybody.

Success is a result of focus, hard work, learning from failure , loyalty and persistence .Indeed when you strives to excel at certain thing you are bound to be successful. When you balance your hard work with persistence and loyalty the end result will be none other than SUCCESS.

Nelson Mandela quotes” Don’t judge me by success but how many times I fell down and got back again”. If you have persevering attitude in life, nothing can stop you from being successful. Perseverance is a factor which differentiates between success and failure.

Success is , thus, relative to each individual. Unfortunately, many people don’t have goals at any time in life. Life is very short and the most important thing in life to be successful is to set some goals. What is a life without goals? People misconstrue goals to be only related to career and finances.

Well, negating that opinion you can categorize goals as:

  1. Career goals,
  2. Financial goals,
  3. Health goals,
  4. Family goals and
  5. Goals for society
  6. Hobby Goals
  7. And Spiritual Goals

You have to take charge and set goals for yourself. The priority of goals would differ from person to person. You may feel family and health goals are more important than the rest of the goals. An ambitious person may prioritize on career and financial goals. Hobby goals are the goals which are meant for yourself satisfaction. Society plays an important role in everyone’s life. You should also set some goals which will benefit the society. It is a way to give back to the society where you belong.

Maslow’s pyramid of self motivation has the self actualization need at the top of it! Spiritual goals help achieve that need of a person.

While setting up goals make sure that your goals are SMART.

SMART Goals mean

S- Specific

M-Measurable

A-Achievable

R-Realistic

T-Time bound

Well, to achieve success be specific about what you want to achieve. The goals should have some yardstick against which you can measure your success. You should always have realistic goals and not unbelievable ones.

An example of setting a goal could be “ I want to reduce my weight by 1.5 kgs in a matter of 15 days. Once you do that you can start working over it by chalking out a plan and then executing the same.

Always check on what you have achieved against what you wanted to achieve And keep on bridging the gap, if any. When diligently persevered, success becomes a habit!!

Thanks for reading.

 

Speech Spells Your Style

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Speech is, perhaps, one of the most important aspects of communication, today. Speech comprises the words that you speak and more importantly how you speak these words. Speech is not taught in schools and colleges. We just pick it up – from our parents, teachers, friends and others in the society with whom we interact. Some of the mistakes that people make in our circle are also adopted by us, though unknowingly. When we set out to improve, we have to unlearn many things. Just because we have been committing these mistakes again and again these form a part of our speech habits. Speech blemishes can be corrected with knowledgeable guidance and a lot of practice. In this regard let’s deal with the following six items:

  1. Knowledge of language grammar.
  2. Your vocabulary in that language.
  3. How you construct your sentences.
  4. Clarity in your voice.
  5. Your knowledge and ability to pronounce the words correctly and clearly.
  6. Pace, pause and tone of your speech.

Knowledge of grammar Normally, it is assumed that knowledge of grammar is only bookish ability and it’s useful only for written communications. This is a fallacy and totally incorrect. You can make nice sentences easy to understand only if you are adequately comfortable in the grammar of the language.

Learning or building of vocabulary is a lifelong process. It should never cease. Difficult, fancy or fashionable words need not be a part of your vocabulary. In fact, simple is beautiful.

Your construction of sentences, in a way, defines your speech. The efficacy of your speech depends on it. Short sentences of varying length may be intertwined to bring out a beautiful style.

Voice plays a major role in your speech. Voice need to be pleasing to the ears of your listeners. Voice can be made very attractive by proper breathing and desirable use of the speech organs.

Pronouncing the words correctly and clearly shows your style. Importance of clear and correct pronunciation should never be undermined.

How you speak is as important in conversation and speech as the content and language, if not more. Power of your speech depends on the judicious use of changing pace, pause and tone etc.    

Thanks of Reading.

8 Moves to Maintain Right Perspective

how-to-gain-the-proper-perspective-in-your-lifeLife is lived through your perspective, your perspective of life. Perspective for an artist or an architect is how the object looks in relation to other objects around. Likewise, ‘Perspective of Life’ is relative to what we see around and what we have to deal with in our normal day to day life.

  1. Never Undermine Perspective. It is said that never underestimate the power of perspective. It can change everything. Your attitude depends on your perspective of life. You may believe that there are too many ups and downs or you may view the same as the process of growth.
  2. Your Perspective Guides you about the relative importance of things. Thus, your priorities will depend on your perspective. One must keep in mind that in the environment of constant change, one may has to revisit one’s perspective often.
  3. Time is a resource which has been equally distributed to all human beings. The moment you realize the importance of time it will reflect on your perspective and accordingly you start dealing with people and situations differently.
  4. An interesting example of perspective may be attributed to the people who are very short. They have always to look up. At the same time the person who is proud and vain will tend to look down on others. So the person who is grounded will see the reality much better and will succeed in building up good relationship with the people at work place in society and at home. The proud will not.
  5. ‘We cannot change the cards we are dealt, but how we play our cards is in our hand’. Thus the life may be looked as a game of cards in which our ability and our choice to choose the right path are both very important. Many a times if you are too much concerned about something, your worry about the same may lead you to wrong decisions.
  6. Never try to give any explanations to people who do not want to understand you. People only hear what they want to hear and the best examples that you may give to such people is only waste of your time. Therefore don’t do that.
  7. An important point to maintain your right perspective is that you should never compare yourself with any other person. Comparison is odious and should always be shunned.
  8. It’s necessary not to worry because worry does not solve any problems of tomorrow, but it surely takes away your peace, today. Actually, solving problems is the significance of life. So, it’s necessary to re-training your mind to process life as it is. Problems are perceived because you find that things are not happening the way you want them to happen. Peace cannot be forced to stay with you but it can be achieved by proper understanding and with proper perspective.

 

Thanks for reading.